I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize