brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
