He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
