If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The feeling are messing with the penis
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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