she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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