No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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