I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
