do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
