she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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