Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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