I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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