Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
