OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
