she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
