White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
