I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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