Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
