would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
