i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
