Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
