I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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