I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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