No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
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