so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you traded sex for a burrito?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
