Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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