This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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