I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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