your parents love me but you hate me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
A+ Viking dick
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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