I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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