I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
