Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
