Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
