You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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