I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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