I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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