Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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