I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
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I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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