Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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