he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you traded sex for a burrito?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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