fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
