He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
