just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.