No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
