I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize