Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
