Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
