We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize