3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Can Purell be used as lube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize