I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
