can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize