your parents love me but you hate me
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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