I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
