just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
