i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think your dad took our porno
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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